How We Spend Less Time Cleaning + More Time Connecting
It can seem like every waking minute of our spare time is spent doing much needed chores that got pushed out of the way. Chores are a daunting daily task that can’t be avoided, or only pushed until last minute for so long. But there are small steps you can take throughout the day to spend less time cleaning. I can’t say that we have perfected this system, we are still learning ways to better it. Sometimes our schedules get mixed up and things get jumbled around for a while. But, I can tell you what we are currently doing to spend less time cleaning and more time connecting as a family.
When we moved away from the city and to our small-town, we knew we wanted to get back to slow living and a sense of community. This past year of being in our new home was dedicated to relearning how to minimize chores as much as possible to make more time to spend together as a family. Prioritizing family time has been an amazing experience and we are so thankful for it. So if you are like us and want to take a step back and make more time for your family again, here are a few of the things we have been doing.
Minimizing Possessions
Minimizing our home was step number one. This isn’t something that we did over night. Avoiding clutter and crowding has been something we’ve worked on as a couple for the past few years in our relationship. You could try Marie Kondo’s approach and put everything in the center of the room in one go, but that wasn’t practical for us. Plus, sometimes we needed extra time to let go of personal possessions that we knew we didn’t need and no longer served us, but we were still attached to. I still wouldn’t call us minimalists, but I would say we have dwindled our home down to a manageable amount and mostly everything has a place. To us, that is what minimalism means and it is working for us now.
Minimizing possessions has not only helped with our wallets because we are buying less and buying intentional, but it has also decreased the amount of things that need to be cleaned. Less items = less mess = less cleaning. Obviously there are still daily messes with kids, that’s life. But it minimizes the ‘mess’ and there’s another time for this that I talk about later. On a side note, I avoid calling what my child has made throughout the house, no matter how destructive, a mess. My child’s job right now is to play because through playing they are learning, enriching their brain, and growing. So to them, that isn’t a mess, that is a make believe castle, a trip to some magical place, or simply a day well spent.
Closing the Kitchen
Closing down the kitchen is something I learned from Milena Ciciotti and it has taken some time to master, but now I can’t go to bed without it. After dinner every night, dishes go into the dishwasher and it is ran if it is full, counters get tidied with our 10-minute tidy (explained later in the article), and appliances and counters get wiped down. I cannot even begin to describe to you how amazing it is to wake up to a clean kitchen and home and start our day fresh. It is an instant mood booster and I cannot recommend it enough! Some nights I will end the closing of the kitchen by turning on my essential oil diffuser or lighting a candle to increase the cozy mood.
Splitting Responsibilities Throughout the Week
Splitting chores and responsibilities has taken a lot of communication, patience, and practice. We have finally found a system that works for us and we are rolling with it! I’ve tried chore charts, check-box lists, and so many other systems, but this is the only one that has worked for us without an argument. For example, I load the dishwasher and run it, my husband puts the dishes away. I wash all the laundry, my husband folds the laundry, we put it away together. I’m not quite sure if this counts, but during the warmer months I pick up the dog poop so my husband can mow the lawn without much before prep. But simple things like that have saved us from having to do whole tasks by ourselves and given us more energy to enjoy our day together.
Rotate Responsibilities
Our current system works for us because my husband doesn’t like cleaning, but he is great at tidying. Whereas tidying constantly annoys the heck out of me, and deep cleaning is refreshing. But, sometimes we like to go out of our way and do a couple of each other’s typical tasks to show our appreciation. In turn, it is more likely that your partner will do something kind for you (obviously not always, so be sure to communicate your needs so you aren’t being disappointed). If my week is just too full and I can’t get to cleaning the bathroom, I might spray down the shower in the morning and ask my husband to scrub it with his morning shower. If I see my husband is stressed from work, I may pick up one of his tasks for the week and give him a break. I know this sounds like it’s putting more work on your plate, but taking a task off of your partners list can allow them to feel more relaxed and give them the energy to accomplish their tasks. In turn, you will have more time to spend together rather than stressing about tasks that were pushed aside when you felt stretched thin.
Laundry Only One Day a Week
This may sound daunting… but it works for us. My husband plays games with his friends every other week. I know he will be sitting at the computer while they talk, strategize, and fight imaginary monsters. I make sure to get all the laundry done that morning, with each of our clothes categorized in separate baskets. He has found that folding the laundry during his game time gives him something to do while he waits for his friends to take their turns. It may seem like a lot of remembering, remembering to load and unload countless baskets. But, getting it all done in one day and put away by the next day checks one more thing off of our list for the week and reduces a pile of laundry waiting to be folded in the corner of a room. Washed, folded, put away, and leaving our home clutter free!
One ‘Monthly’ Chore When We Clean Each Room
Monthly chores are those deep cleaning tasks you often forget about… or save until the end of the month then have to do them all at once. I find doing one monthly chore a week, when cleaning each room, cuts down on the daunting feeling of it. One week I may vacuum and dust the molding, vacuum the vents, dust the fans, or clean under the oven or fridge, and so forth. It is much easier to keep up on those long lists of ‘to-dos’ when you do them slowly throughout the month rather than all at once.
One 10-minute Tidy a Day
Obviously the goal as a parent would be to have a child who picks up something and puts it all away before moving onto the next task or toy, but that’s not always a reality. So every day after dinner, we throw on some music and tidy the house as a family. This includes every space that is used daily: our kitchen, the dining table, the living room, the play space, my desk/office, and so forth. This started out as a 15-minute tidy and is now more like a 5-minute tidy after a year of practice. I will continue to call it a 10-minute tidy because it is more practical and will give you realistic expectations. To help our toddler tidy, we started with games. Whoever could clean the fastest would win! Now, she’s able to put her toys in the designated locations they belong without needing incentives (though she doesn’t quite have organizational skills down yet but we still have plenty of time to practice them). The important part is that we are all participating and modeling for our child because that is the best way for them to learn.
Turning Off Electronics
This is a newer task I have recently adopted and it has benefited our family DRAMATICALLY, so I wanted to include it. While working on our 1000 hours outside challenge, I truly learned the reasoning behind why screen time is bad for kids. I mean, I already knew it was ‘bad’ before the challenge. We tried to limit it as much as possible, but we are also human and lean on it those days we are our most tired or when we have a deadline coming up and really need to sit down. But after listening to a few of the podcasts and really hearing the science behind what screens do, not only to our children’s brains but to our own as well, I started a new challenge. No screens.
The first two weeks were rough. Our daughter never had temper issues with screens, limits, or ‘times up’ warnings, but the moment we took it all away cold turkey she turned into a whole new child. I had never experienced such a temper from her before! Other than the benefits cognitively and developmentally, I’ve noticed cutting out screens has also given us more time to connect. It’s easier for me to keep up on tidying throughout the day. I get more time to enjoy my own hobbies. My daughter has also learned how to occupy herself during the times that I have to do my own chores, she either plays in the room with me or joins in the fun of learning how to maintain a home. We have recently brought electronics back in, but at a set time. We are both allowed to take a moment to sit on our phones, tablets, or TV, and it’s only for an hour to two hours at the end of the day after we have had plenty of leisure time, home education, and time connecting. I’ve noticed a significant decrease in the stress of ‘maintaining’ a home and serving my family all my simply keeping screens off until a certain time.
Get your kids involved early
I might be repeating myself at this point, but all of these chores for running a household do not fall solely on myself or my husband. We have ensured a routine for our family that combines household duties and connection. From the moment the kids and I wake up in the morning, we are connecting over our daily routine. We start by getting ourselves ready together, then we assist each other in making our beds. When I make breakfast, I invite my children into the kitchen to cook. They don’t always, but inviting them to make food with me builds connection and teaches them how to make meals that sustain their active bodies and how to clean up when we are done. We have a designated tidy time that falls after dinner, in which we all do our ‘after dinner jobs’ as well. Each person in our family plays a crucial role in how smoothly the day will run. By involving our kids early on, they learn valuable skills, feel connected to their parents, feel important in the family, and they don’t require ‘bribes’ or ‘rewards’ to do daily tasks.
I hope this gives you some ideas to reduce your giant task list and get back to enjoying family time! If you have any other tips that work for you, I would love to read about them in the comments below.